$.18

That was my raise this year. I won't even notice a difference on my paycheck. And believe me, I am one of the lucky ones! My friend The Anomaly got $.06 and she knows of someone who got $.04. Can you even fucking STAND IT??!! THIS from a company that bragged about RECORD EARNINGS and handed over $22 million to their CEO as a BONUS!! The thing that's got me cracking up is that THIS YEAR they are calling them "merit increases". In other words, I am worth $0.18 more based on my performance this past year. In my opinion, just from staying sane and not going postal ALONE I should have been given a $2 raise. The worst part is, the people they are hiring now are being hired at about $1.25 more per hour than I am getting now. At the rate I am going I will NEVER get where they are. I know someone who has been working there for five years and is making about $1.50 less per hour than me. Oh, this tangled corporate fucking web we weave.

So I'm whining and crying about my $.18 cents, then go to my documentary class and am subjected to "Night and Fog" right after an exhausting analysis of "Triumph of the Will". "Night and Fog" is a half hour long. It is the most brutal, horrific Holocaust documentary I have ever seen. I thought I had seen the worst of the worst images and footage. I was wrong, and I just recently watched a BBC documentary on Auschwitz. I don't know what was the worst part, seeing one of the Jews help a struggling Nazi shut the cattle car from inside, or seeing one of the Allied soldiers gently laying a severed head in a mass grave right after seeing Nazis bulldozing bodies into a pit. Then there are some images I will never forget that I can't even bear to describe here.

Nightmares all night.