So Damn Predictable!

I think I may have had some post-vacation euphoria for a while because I actually believed my summer depression wouldn't happen this year. Here it is! It doesn't help that this isn't just summer it's SUMMER with some of the hottest, most miserable days I have experienced this side of Florida in August. For the love of god why can't it be global COOLING?!! I am at a point where I am feeling overwhelmed by things. The car and everything financial surrounding it has added a lot of stress especially since I am not getting regular bonuses at my job anymore because they are fucked in the head. It's just too stupid and painful to go into details. I have decided (in the brief clarity that too much caffeine causes) to quit at least 2 addictions in my life practically cold turkey. That being said I joined Weight Watchers on Friday (Today is officially day one) and am moments from calling to cut off my cable. I WATCH TOO MUCH EFFING TV!! I am keeping Netflix, however, and plan to catch up on my shows that way. Way back in my unemployment days nothing got accomplished until my cable was involuntarily shut off. Once that happened, I wrote more than I have ever written before and I got a job. I tried to explain it away as coincidence, but I don't think so. Also, right now I have DVR and I have started to realize that if my DVR fills up with shows, I practically have anxiety that I haven't watched everything. It feels like a job like I am falling behind. Also, I have realized lately that television has given me a skewed perspective on real life. Not everyone is good looking and perfect and funny. I have to constantly remind myself of that. My depression takes hold pretty hard and sitting in front of my TV and eating is not helping things. Besides, what will I be missing? Crappy reality TV like "Big Brother : All-Stars"? All-Stars shows are a fucking waste of time, in my opinion. "Survivor: All-Stars" was terrible. What's next? "Amazing Race: All-Stars"? PUKE! Back to no cable: The only shows I will truly miss out on can be rented from Netflix eventually anyway. Not to mention, the shit is way too fucking expensive!! I can't keep paying for it (around $80/mo) and pay for my car insurance at the same time.

This cloud of depression will pass, like all clouds of depression pass. If this foul heat wave ever breaks I might even be able to figure out what my car runs like without air conditioning.