48 DAYS part 1: The Raspberries, The Stud, The Witch, and The River

[I tried a million different ways to write this. None of them worked. Finally I sat down with Sarabellem with her naturally inquisitive temperament (inside joke) a few drinks and a microcassette recorder and had her interview me about it.]

Sarabellem: So, I’m gonna ask you some questions about your relationship with someone named Trent.

Shakycam: Okay.

SB: I only knew of Trent, so I’m gonna ask you some really basic questions.

SC: Okay.

SB: What year did you meet?

SC: 1999.

SB: 1999. So you would’ve been... how old?

SC: 24.

SB: Where were you in your life? Where were you living, where were you working?

SC: I was working at BS&S, living at 15th and Lasalle.

SB: SO what was going on in your life, what was your mental state when you met Trent?

SC: I was a partying pothead at the bar all the time.

SB: Were you happy?

SC: I don’t know. At the time I didn’t think I was but looking back on it I probably was. I mean, as happy as I could be. I was typically mid-20s: materialistic, not paying my bills or taking care of my responsibilities, screwing around and messing my life up, financially and situationally.

SB: And what were your personal relationships like, were you involved in any relationships?

SC: I had a lot of friends. Most of them were from BS&S.

SB: Would you say that those were mostly female friends, mostly male friends?

SC: They were mostly female friends. Almost exclusively.

SB: So how did you and Trent first meet? When did you first lay eyes on each other?

SC: It was July 9th, 1999.

SB: You’re always with the dates!

SC: Wicca and I went to The Nineties. We were also going to a party at my friend Pusher’s house who lived at the U of M with 5 other people in a big house. They had a basement that was completely vacant that they practically transformed into a dance club at these house parties. We weren’t planning on getting drunk at the nineties, it just happened. They were having a promotion of Stoli’s Raspberry vodka and there was a display set up where we got a couple free shots and accidentally ate loaded raspberries without knowing they were loaded. We got, at least to the point where I shouldn’t have been driving and I drove anyway and of course, being 24, I was invincible.

SB: Right.

SC: The party was okay. It was one of her better ones. It was really smoky and hot, as it always was in that basement.

SB: Was it hot outside? What was the weather like?

SC: It was humid. The day had been really hot. The night was a bit cooler but very humid. I remember that very clearly. About an hour after we got there, we couldn’t handle the heat anymore so we decided to go hang out on the lawn, which in Minneapolis is basically just a slab of grass. There were some people out there with us because there was a nice breeze and it was better than the basement. We were hanging out with some guys we had met there that seemed pretty nice. Can’t remember a damn thing about any of them anymore, but I have the sense that they were nice. The first thing we noticed is that the party across the street got busted by the cops. We didn’t think too much of it, we were just glad we weren’t over there. We’re just sitting there and out of nowhere this guy comes running over and kinda crash-lands with us and pretends he was sitting there the whole time. We were kinda put off by that, like, what the fuck? He looked like a total frat guy. I mean Texas A&M hat, big and tan and buff, dazzling smile. Very all-American, white-bred male kinda guy, but pretty good-looking but I was more irritated at first because I was the center of attention before he showed up. I was a bit put-off by that.

SB: Why were you the center of attention?

SC: I was to the point where I was drunk enough to lose some inhibitions.

SB: Okay.

SC: and it was that kind of getting-to-know-you thing that happens at house parties that was actually working for once. It generally didn’t work for me, but this time it was. So, me and Wicca were kinda like “Who the hell is this guy? Why did he have to crash-land with us? Why is he so afraid of the cops?” I think I was lost the minute I found out he was gay. And it wasn’t just that I found out he was gay, it was the way I found out, because Trent had this power over straight guys that I’d never seen before. He could mix with em, he could be right in there with em. These guys were talkin about gettin’ some pussy and all kinds of nasty straight guy stuff and he said, just out of nowhere something to the effect of “Actually, I’m lookin’ for some guys to fuck.”

SB: Wait. I’m a little confused. You went from him sitting down with you to him having power over straight guys. How did you break the ice from him being some frat asshole, to it being cool that he crashed the party?

SC: He was kind of mixing with them [the straight guys] at first, ya know, trying to get in the conversation. I don’t remember anything specific that was said anymore, but I do know that it was shocking and earth-shattering to everyone when we found out he was gay. There wasn’t a single person there that suspected. He also had a very electrifying personality. You wanted him to like you. He was one of those charismatic cult leader types. It was hidden a bit, it wasn’t as obvious. But he ended up scaring the shit out of the straight guys. I remember they eventually cleared out of the yard and we found them later, huddled in the kitchen having some kind of a support group because he physically dwarfed all of them. He looked like this tough, macho straight guy. Turned out he was a tough, macho gay guy. That was the first night I met him. Wicca and I both liked him a lot. It kind of ended abruptly and we both kicked ourselves afterwards like: “DAMN we missed out. That guy was really cool.”

SB: So that was the first time. And you thought what? I met a really cool guy and now it’s over? So tell me, how long until you saw him again?

SC: Well, that was a Friday night. The next Friday... [Pause] Let me just add something here. That next weekend is still something that I, even to this point, consider the best weekend of my entire life. Of course there’s that phrase about looking back is 360. What’s that?

SB: Hindsight is 20-20?

SC: Yeah, that’s it. In hindsight, I would say, that was the best weekend of my life. Friday night was the premiere of “The Blair Witch Project” at the Uptown which was the most intense cinematic experience of my entire life. It was the theater and everything, the people I was with, the crowd outside, how packed it was. It was an absolutely pure cinematic moment. And for the movie to scare the living daylights out of most of us like that... Anyway, the next day which was Saturday was the first time I ever went to the Apple River with a bunch of people. Again, we met at Lisa’s house. There was all kinds of drama and stupid shit going on, people fighting...

SB: Because you were with all girls.

SC: It wasn’t just that they were girls, there were some very DRAMATIC girls there. But we went to the Apple River. Anyway, tubing down the Apple River sneaks up on you, particularly if you haven’t been there before. You don’t realize how drunk you are until you try to stand up at the end and get out.

SB: What were you drinking?

SC: Vodka and orange juice. Basically a big screwdriver in a gallon jug with a bunch of ice. [Both laughing]

SB: What kind of day was it?

SC: It was hot. In more ways than one. Basically the Apple River turns into a big floating frat party on days like this and that first time still feels like the purest time I went. There were beer bongs and joints and water pistols and many, many hot guys... We got back to Pusher’s house, because that’s where everyone had parked. Me and The Nurse were still drunk and didn‘t want to drive back to my place until we sobered up a little. If I hadn’t been drunk, I wouldn’t have gone through with it. She dared me to bring a note to the guy across the street that Wicca and I had been raving about.

SB: Did you know he actually lived there?

SC: He had mentioned that at some point. I wrote some kind of note. It was something like: “Really enjoyed meeting you the other night. Me and Wicca had a blast. Want to go for coffee sometime?” Of course it had my name and phone number. I went over and his roommate, a guy named Mr. Clean, accepted it for him. A few minutes later I couldn’t believe I had done it, didn’t expect him to call again ever. Eventually I sobered up enough and me and The Nurse went back to my place. This was about 4:30 or 5:00 and both of us crashed, like, for the night crashed. [Both laughing.] It was the sun and the liquor and the excitement. Around 7:30 or 8:00 that night the phone rings and it’s Trent. I remember thinking “Holy shit! I can’t believe this guy is calling me.”

SB: How long did you talk? Was it like a 15 minute, hey how’s it goin’ kinda call or was it an endless 3 hour call where you bare your souls?

SC: It was probably 45 minutes. Somewhere in the conversation I mentioned seeing “Blair Witch” and how I had seen it the night before. He was like “Oh my god! I have gotta see that!” We made plans to see it the next day and because everything was so crazy with that movie at the time I had to get the tickets that night.

SB: What was it like when you heard his voice on the line? Did you get all tingly? Were you just excited to talk to him?

SC: I remember I had to sit down. I couldn’t believe it. I was still a little buzzed too which... lubricated the conversation, for lack of a better word. We went to the movie the next day, and from that day until 48 days later, we were barely parted. He ended up staying with me because it was a really hot summer and that crappy house he was living in had no air conditioning.

SB: Let’s back up a little. What was it like the first time you saw him when you picked him up? Were you all in awe of his masculine frat boy thing were you really attracted to him or was it just like “This guy is really cool”?

SC: It was absolutely everything. Not only was he attractive physically but he also had this confidence that just could not be beat which is something I am such a sucker for. He had all of that going on, but he also was from Oklahoma so he had a bit of a southern drawl which...

SB: Takes your breath away.

SC: The combination just knocked me over. I was gone. He could have been a psycho axe murderer and I was still, ya know, at that point in my life anyway.

SB: So you immediately skipped to 48 days later. What’s going on at your apartment? Are you intimate? Are you just buddies? Friends?

SC: We were pretty deep friends. Very close. Probably too close.

SB: What do you mean by that.

SC: You kinda ease into friendships. He and I jumped into one very quick. We never actually said “This is going to be on a friend level” it was just how it went down. Looking back on it now, not to be self-deprecating or anything, but this guy was a million miles out of my league. I had no chance. I had a chance of being great friends with him, but let’s be realistic. He was very experienced, worldly, he traveled all over the world, had a million stories.

SB: Do you think because you were out of his league is why you were so in awe of him?

SC: That’s the thing. I think my entire life I have gone after guys that I knew I could never have because there’s no rejection there, really. When actually, the whole relationship is rejection. There was never any real outright rejection, not through the whole thing. To him I was some gay kid who idolized him. It was practically hero worship. Anybody who was around him for an extended period of time had a very strong reaction to him. 99% of the time, it was positive.

SB: So during that time, was he contributing to the household, financially?

SC: Not at first. He had a job were he ran equipment for ESPN setting up satellites for live broadcasts and stuff. It was a very physical job that paid really well. He had just started that really recently when I met him. For about the first 3 weeks I paid for everything with him promising to pay later. Jeez, I coulda been a total sucker who got taken for everything I had but luckily he was good for it and when he got paid he paid part of my rent and refused to let me pay for anything from that point on.

SB: So, 48 days later...

SC: Oh, Jesus...

To be continued...