In Case of Emergency...

On Wednesday my sister was rushed to the hospital. She's pregnant with twins and her blood pressure was dangerously high. They are keeping her in the hospital for observation until she has the babies now. My mother left a message on my answering machine informing me of what was going on, even though I had my cell phone on me. I was horribly upset by this and after some thought I think what bothers me the most about a random message being left on my machine is that I wasn't one of the first ones to know. My sister is probably the most important person to me and I was an afterthought. My mom was THERE. It made me realize that I am not the first one ANYONE would call if there was an emergency of some kind. I'm on the list of people you call after the crisis has passed, but I'm not included in the hand-holding, let's get through this part. I am not ANYONE'S in case of emergency person. On people's brutally-honest, hey that's the breaks kid, priority list of life I am not the first on ANYONE'S. At most, I am second on a few, third fourth or fifth on others.

Then, I had an epiphany. Maybe you are not truly loved unless you are someone's in case of emergency person. It's basically saying, when things go wrong I know you will drop everything and be there for me. Nobody feels that way about me and it feels incredibly empty. Most of it is situational. Parents and significant others, by NATURE are the first ones that you would have someone call. But I'm not anyone's parent or significant other. Maybe life is about our quest for being someone's in case of emergency person.